Have you ever wondered where "love" comes from? I KNOW it's a gift from God........he designed us as loving beings; capable of feeling an infinite amount of love! But, where in us is it "made"? We always refer to our hearts as our "love" center; the place we hold everything and everyone we cherish. From macaroni, fried chicken, our first pets, our favorite movie, the best book we ever read to all the special people in our lives, we say they hold a special place in our hearts! So, is that where our love is made?
I wonder this because I have an over abundance of love! When you love someone, you give away your love to them and they give you theirs in return (hopefully). But what happens when you love someone and they die? You don't stop loving them! You keep creating love with every memory, every mention of their name, every photograph looked at. And this love keeps growing and building up with nowhere to go!
So, what do you do with that love that's still being made for that person? The first thought that comes to mind is to give it to the other people you love right? But it isn't their love.......it was made for someone else, and it won't fit anyone else! You don't want to store it up because it was made to give away! But how do you do it? How do you take this perfect gift created in yourself and by design to only fit one other person like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle and give it away?
This is what I want the answer to! I don't want to stop it, I just want to know what to do with this overflow of love! For me lately, as a creative person, it is coming out in my writing and photography and other creative vessels. Is that what I'm supposed to be doing with it? It feels different than giving it to the person it was created for. My writing and photography can't give me love back! So is it a waste to give away bits of my love, pieces of a perfectly designed jigsaw puzzle to something it wasn't designed for?
If I do give it away in these little fragments, will I eventually run out? Will my "love maker" quit making love to give away with no return? That's a scary thought! Will it morph itself into love for someone else; and if so, does that change it's value any........like a regifted Christmas present? If I ever fall in love again, will it be an equivalent love? A better love? Will I always compare it to a love I've been making for over 15 years? Will it interfere with my future like that? Surely a love so true wouldn't do that right?!?
So, back to my earlier question.........what do I do with all this love I've been storing up? If only I could figure a way to package it up and make it valuable to others! To reshape the puzzle piece that was made for someone else and shape it to fit another person! To find someone who is worthy of receiving and appreciative of receiving a love that has been overflowing in my life now for 17 months.
Well, there you have it folks............the question I have been pondering lately! Anyone who has an answer for me, feel free to share! I guess that's all for now........................so, until next time, love and blessings to all......................DONNA!
That's a tough one, Donna! I can only imagine what it is like to love someone that is not with you anymore(I can imagine some b/c of Granny, but it's not the same kind of love). NO, you are not expected to just stop loving that person....I hear that it gets better with time and that eventually God and your heart allow you to love someone else again...but every person has a different time, you will know when you are ready....as far as the love you have building up in you, my first thought would be to somehow give it to your two wonderful boys, the two special people the two of you created together! This is just an idea/suggestion! Since you asked it is an idea, I hope that it will help you!! I love you, Deaner! :o)
ReplyDeleteThank you Mandy dear! I do share so much more love with the boys because it is just the three of us now. But I am referring more to husband an wife.....not just physical, but the whole relationship. Also, I do not write this in a sad or depressed tone. I don't want anyone to think this was written from a place of depression because it was not. It is just a place I find myself......having all this love for Clint as my husband and best friend and not being sure where to place it.
ReplyDeleteI love you!!! And give Suzy a big smooch from her Aunt DonDon :)
Here is my take on this, and its kind of a complicated answer, and just my opinion. Love like that is meant to be shared,... but not given away to others. Its meant to shine through you as an example to others (especially your boys) what its like to love. Love is a word that is too easily thrown around now days, but when your boys see you look at every picture, and they see how you smile every time someone mentions his name, they see real love. I think that your love is being used exactly how it is meant to be used, and there for you will never run out of room to store it, and you will never run out of it.
ReplyDelete@ Your Penguin, thank you! That is what I hope is the right answer! Me and the boys share memories daily about their dad and it brings so much joy and comfort to my heart to see them smile and laugh when we talk about him and all of our favorite things about him. I do feel a very strong need to be sure they remember how much he loved them. They don't get to spend much time with his family, except for his dad and occasionally his brother, so I hope I am always a reminder to them that he was special to me and that the relationship he and I had was better than what most people have. I hope as they get older and begin to date that they will always remember that and follow that example! Thank you again for your reply
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